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Funny Sporting Quotes - Baseball

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"The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play."
-Reggie Jackson

"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."
- Andre Dawson (outfielder for the Chicago Cubs), when asked about being a role model to the youth of America Andre Dawson was an at the time.

"There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base."
- Jerry Coleman

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."
-Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf

"As I remember it, the bases were loaded."
-Baseball player Garry Maddox, asked his reaction to hitting a grand slam

"I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player."
-John Kruk

"Today I am the greatest of all time."
- Ricky Henderson on May 1, 1991, after he eclipsed Lou Brock's stolen base record of 938. He held the base over his head as he proclaimed this to the crowd

"This has been a team effort. No one or two guys could have done all this."
- Casey Stengel, after the Mets lost 120 games in their inaugural season in 1962

"If the people don't want to come out to the ballpark, nobody's going to stop them"
- Yogi Berra, New York Yankee

"It's a partial sellout."
-Atlanta Braves broadcaster Skip Caray, trying not to say the game has only drawn 6,000 fans.

"No one goes to that restaurant anymore. It's too crowded."
- Yogi Berra, New York Yankee

"The game was closer than the score indicated."
-Baseball player Dizzy Dean, after a 1-0 game

"I am the most loyal player money can buy."
-Don Sutton, Pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Houston Astros, Milwaukee Brewers, Oakland Athletics and California Angels

"It's permanent, for now."
-Cincinnati Red Roberto Kelly, announcing his new name would be "Bobby."

"I usually take a two hour nap from one to four"
- Yogi Berra, New York Yankee

"Raise the urinals."
-Darrel Chaney on how management could keep the Braves on their toes

"That's why I don't talk. Because I talk too much."
-Joaquin Andujar

"Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
-Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters

"Like they say, it ain't over till the fat guy swings."
-Phillies catcher Darren Daulton on stocky first baseman John Kruk.

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
Baseball announcer

"The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level."
-- Devil Rays GM Chuck Lamar on his team

"I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name pitcher. He said, 'Dave Wehrmeister's got 11 letters. Is that a big enough name for you ?'"
-Eddie Eichorn, White Sox owner

"I'm rich. What am I supposed to do, hide it?"
-Detroit Tiger Lou Whitaker, arriving in a stretch limo for a players' union meeting during the 1994 baseball strike.

"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
-"Yogi" Berra

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